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soiled diamond

“Why was I born? When will this pain end? Is there a God? And if He exists, why doesn't He love me? I know He doesn't love me, because if He did...I wouldn't be going through this nightmare called life"  Feeling terrified, alone and being subjected to every dehumanizing, vulgar act that Ralph Repost reprobate mind could conceive, Tricia penned her feelings. Being adopted by one of the wealthiest couples in Roanoke, Virginia, she was pampered with everything money could buy, except the things she desired most… love and acceptance...

This was the beginning of entry number 1,865 from the new journal Tricia Repost just purchased. She counted last night and to her surprise she has twenty five journal books she has kept since she was eight years old. She just started a new journal bright and early this morning. Although the journal is new, the content is the same misery and trauma she has been recording since she was adopted by Ralph and Evelyn Repost at age eleven. 

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Prior to being adopted she would often write in detail of her dreams of being adopted by a loving family, with a nice house, her own room and bathroom.  She would never have to share a room or bathroom with thirty other girls like she did at Bryant Children’s Home. The dream of finally having a loving family that she could call her own came true on January 26, 1992.  This was a day that she hoped for all her childhood for as long as she could remember. The day she dreamed about, and daily fantasized of finally came true. She would no longer be considered just a number or Tricia Doe.  She was finally adopted with a last name to coincide with her new parents. She was no longer Tricia Doe, because she did not have any history on her parents. The truth is Tricia was left at the Children’s Home, the classic way, on the steps with a note that read “her name is Tricia please take care of her”. Tricia would find out this truth later and it will further lead her down a road of sorrow and despair. She was finally being adopted. All of the pain, loneliness, and rejection were behind her. Tricia felt so worthless because she did not even have a last name like many of the children at Bryant Children’s Home.  She is now Tricia Repost. What an indescribable feeling.


The day she was picked up from the Children’s home by Ralph & Evelyn Repost was one of greatest joys, filled with overwhelming excitement. She was excited because she had been to her new home on several occasions and was familiar with her new room, and yes, she finally had her own bathroom. Her room was yellow and purple, two of her favorite colors. The Reposts were very nice and welcoming to her. When she was considered for adoption and the long process began. It only took four months before the adoption was final. It usally takes up to a year before all the paperwork is complete, but because Ralph Repost was such a prominent, wealthy man some procedures were skipped and the adoption was finalized without any complications.


The day finally came when Tricia was to go home to live with Ralph and Evelyn forever. She could not believe after living at the Children’s Home for so many years she would finally have a family. She was finally accepted. She finally had parents to call her very own. She would no longer be teased by the other children at school because she was from the Children’s home. Not only was Tricia adopted but she would be the only child being raised by one Virginia’s wealthiest couples. The Reposts did not have any other children. After many attempts Evelyn just wasn’t able to conceive.  Evelyn especially loved Tricia and clanged to her, they shared a bond from the first day they met but January 26, 1992 would go down as the day Tricia’s life changed forever. Tricia just did not realize how her life would change and the turn of events that would cause her to regret the day she had stepped foot into the Repost’s home.


Sadly, after years of expectation, hopeful anticipation, and hours of countless dreaming her fairy tale would be shattered the first night she entered the Repost’s home. The day started as a fairy tale she dreamed of for so many years. She was welcomed into the family as neighbors, family, friends and associates came to a bar-be-que at the Repost home (Ralph was famous for grilling). He made an announcement introducing his daughter to everyone that gathered at his 5,000 square foot home, complete with an indoor pool, lake in the back yard and nine acres of a well manicured lawn. Tricia could not believe that she was going to be living in such a luxurious place.




What will happen to Tricia? Will she overcome the years of abuse and live a life of peace & happiness?

Or will she succumb to the pain and become a statistic like millions of people

who cannot reach beyond tragedies in their lives.


Although the characters are fictional,

the content is real as millions of children live with the tragic reality of being abused.


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